Love ceases to be a demon only when it ceases to be a god
M. Denis de Rougemont
출처 https://justacouplebooks.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/love-ceases-to/
[Maria]
This is a thought provoking quote //that C.S. Lewis puts into his book //that reminds us that we cannot make love a god
in our lives and especially the relationships () we form. I must remember to not live for the relationship,
but that [the relationships //that I have] should be helping me to live for God.
In Nick and I’s relationship we must also remember to not point towards each other,
but to point towards God, because /if we are doing his will, he will re-direct our focus to each other.
[Nick] I too was somewhat intrigued by this quote and the concept behind it of love being our god. CS Lewis opens the introduction with a quote from St. John, “God is love,” a quote that we as Catholics hear again and again. But is love God? I think that the clear response that CS Lewis is trying to establish is no; love is not God. In fact, when we allow love to become a god in our life, it becomes a demon. This is a concept that causes a tempest in my mind, and wracks me about from one thought to another as I try to calm the storm with a combination of faith and reason.
How can something as glorious and divinely inherited as love be a demon? How can love, which is so closely tied
to the very identity of God and manifested most perfectly in Christ on the cross, be an evil? As I tossed and turned with these questions, I came to the conclusion that most sin (if not all) comes from a disordered sense of love.
The sin of gluttony is a disordered love for food and riches and ultimately oneself. The sins of greed, pride, and lust can be viewed similarly.
And then I thought in more of a practical theological standpoint about everyone I have encountered in my life, both “good” or “bad.” Most everyone that I have met has something that motivates their actions, some sort of passion. One may even call it a type of love. The difference lies in what that love is directed towards. And bingo!
I found the key to my questions.
I think that true love, the love that is good and pure, is a love directed back entirely to its source: God. In that way, the extent to which a type of love can be seen as good and true is the extent to which it is directed towards the Lord. The most perfect love then, would be a love motivated and directed straight towards the source of love, God. Other loves can be good inasmuch as they are directed towards Him without the interference of other objects.
Let’s use an analogy that came to mind. Look at love as a ray of light. I don’t think that is really a novel idea, but
I do claim the thoughts that follow to be my own, whether they prove to be intelligent or otherwise. So, love is
a ray of light. That love emanates from the Trinity down towards the earth, to each of us. We then reflect that love.
We can choose to reflect it back directly at the source, or to direct it at other things here on this earth. When we reflect light (love) back to God, let’s consider that to be true love. The beam of light is most pure and undisturbed by other objects bending or distorting it. We would see this kind of love lived out by someone that chooses the will of God for their life before any other interest. That is why the light is directed straight back to God, because now God can choose where to send that light. It does not mean that the individual doesn’t get to share that light (love) with others. On the contrary, that love is then amplified by God and directed towards those that God wishes to have in that individual’s life. In a sense, that person gets to partake in loving people with the most pure love,
a love from God. The love that we share with others in this case is a love that is first shared with God. What a cool idea!
Now what happens when we reflect light on other objects? Let’s consider a couple different types of recipients of our reflections here. One might reflect light on another person; we would look at this as a deep love of a friend, girlfriend, spouse, etc. We might also look at this as helping the poor, ministering to someone in need, or some other act of charity. If this person is a direct recipient of our light, that is if the light wasn’t first sent directly back to God, this love is slightly disordered. Consider the recipient to be another mirror or a lens before the light returns to God. Wouldn’t the light be somewhat distorted and bent, and not as pure and perfect as before by the time it returns to God? We all know people like this. There are great people in our lives who give to the poor, work with abused children, or try to provide healthcare to someone in desperate need. They don’t do it out of a love for God, but out of love for that individual. It is a very good thing, and extremely admirable. However, I would say that it isn’t perfect love because the primary recipient of that love isn’t love itself, but a product or offshoot of love.
Essentially, I have established the viewpoint that a perfect love would be a love that reflects most perfectly back to its source. A less perfect love would be one that becomes distorted before returning. The extent of that distortion quantifies the imperfection of that love. So, let’s look at love that seems even more disordered in my opinion. It may clarify my previous point. A love that would be more disordered would be a love directed at something that is less like Love itself (here I am referring to the source of all love, God). I think that most people would agree that human beings are more like Love (God) than say…money. So what happens when our love is directed towards money? Let’s go back to using the idea of light. If money is less like Love than human beings are, then the mirror/lens associated with money would be greasy or twisted to distort the source of light more than the human mirror/lens before returning to the source. As the direct recipient of our love becomes less and less like God, the image becomes more distorted.
I believe that this is an oversimplified, though poorly written, explanation of what Denis de Rougemont meant when he said that love becomes a demon when it becomes a god, for it becomes a god when it isn’t directed back toward’s the source (God), but when other things take the place of that source.
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[Nick] Now that I have established how I feel philosophically about this quote, I wish to reflect briefly on what that means to me. I believe that I have always struggled with loving perfectly. I think that it is all too easy for me to be motivated by my affections and love for Maria (or others) than by allowing that love to be a product of my love for God. I am not entirely sure how I will be challenged to grow in this area, but I think that by reading this book together, I will gain more insight on how I can love more perfectly, particularly in my relationship with Maria. I hope to be able to love Maria with a love that comes from the will of God, a perfect love. I think that Maria explained it quite perfectly when she said, “we must also remember to not point towards each other, but to point towards God, because if we are doing his will, he will re-direct our focus to each other.” I am excited to enter into this journey of love with Maria this summer as we continue to read The Four Loves!