CAFE

우리들의 이야기

77 (Look where you're going)

작성자피터|작성시간16.07.19|조회수8 목록 댓글 0


I'm in charge of putting my self on active duty today. With lack of purpose or understanding of the task at hand, I'm supposed to pretend I have a sense of where I'm going. That's how I feel like I've reached a certain limit on performing the daily repetitive work.  In fact, it's hard to be seated in front of a desk all day, and it would be more of a torture to remain motionless, especially when I don't have the situation well under control. But it doesn't look like I'm the only one with such morning lethargy. However, I don't like feeling that way, and I don't want to sink into any state of sloth, either.  That's why I need to be on mindful guard for the arising of the moment I start to feel uncomfortable heaviness around my head. This is the initial sign of my aversion to my job. So I made up my mind to change the whole life style to boost myself. I'm up at 3 am and spend at dawn twice the amount of effort as working during the day. And despite my hectic schedule  I'll have as many moments as I can to give it a rest. I can close my eyes and hold my breath. Most important thing is simply note it as it is without taking it as something killing me. Then I can be successful in avoiding embarking upon any kind of torpor, and bringing up energy by believing in what I have the potential to become. To make it through another day, now I'm ready to allow all my senses to accept the whole range of stimuli emitting from today, and I just want to feel like myself in this daily regular activity. Everything itself is a sensation. It turns out to be nothing but a sensation even if it seems to destroy me, so nothing is worth clinging to. I'm just supposed to see arising and passing of a series of senses, pleasant or not, and I'd rather not take a hard stance on the toughest part of it. I'll focus my attention on my movement, not on the destination as if I'm playing billiards.


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