A Lady of England 9
HORATIA. [_Aside to Barbara._] Strange, is it not?
SOPHIA. Why was your company broken up?
CHARLES. Because we were not able to raise a Sovereign amongst
us. We were sadly cut up.
HORATIA. [_Eagerly._] By the Dragoons?
CHARLES. [_Laughing._] Do not inquire too closely, fair Lady.
MRS. JUD. May I ask your name, Sir?
CHARLES. Charles Stu-- [_Aside._] Ass that I am!
MRS. JUD. I beg your pardon, Sir, I did not hear you.
CHARLES. [_Aside._] The first word that comes! [_Aloud._]
Dapple, Madam, Dapple. [_Aside._] I might have hit on a more
romantic name, but my brain seems in a whirl.
HORATIA. It is a very curious study to trace the derivations....
MRS. JUD. Any way related to the Dapples of....
SOPHIA. Down, Adonis, down! your dirty little paws....
HORATIA. One would suppose them sometimes prophetical of future
events. Who can deny that Hanover....
BARBARA. Our family name of....
HORATIA. [_Raising her voice._] Who can deny that Hanover has a
great resemblance to Hand-over, or that Cumberland is as just a
denomination for the bloody Duke as if....
SOPHIA. Pretty little pet he is, is he not?
BARBARA. Our family name of Rattleton is said to be derived from
a famous Ancestor of ours, a chief of the ancient Britons....
MRS. JUD. My Cousin by the Mother’s side....
BARBARA. Whose head being cleft from his shoulders as he was
driving his chariot into the thickest of....
MRS. JUD. The family of the Goslings....
HORATIA. Also passionately fond of Heraldry....
BARBARA. His spirit seemed unconquered even by the blow which
decapitated him, and he drove on....
HORATIA. A Lion rampant over 6 grasshoppers....
BARBARA. Whence our name of Rattle-ton or Rattle-on is said to
be derived.
CHARLES. [_Aside._] This is beyond endurance. They stun me. What
a nest of parrots I am in! I cannot get in a word.
HORATIA. Thus, Sir, your name of ... I beg your pardon, Sir, it
has slipped my memory.
CHARLES. [_Aside._] Hang me, if it has not fairly bolted from
mine!
MRS. JUD. Mr. Charles Dapple.
CHARLES. [_Aside._] I’ll change the conversation. [_To
Horatia._] You seem much devoted, Miss, to scientific pursuits.
HORATIA. O, they are my delight, my recreation! Ornithology,
Mythology, Geology, Conchology, fascinate me. I was first given
my taste for the higher branches of these intellectual sciences
by....
SOPHIA. Mr. Dapple, have you remarked my pretty little....
HORATIA. My Uncle in the Scilly Isles, whose mind....
SOPHIA. Have you remarked....
HORATIA. A profound genius....
SOPHIA. My little poodle, Adonis?
HORATIA. By-the-by, Mr. Dapple, may I ask your opinion on a much
disputed point, where I venture to differ even from my Uncle?
What do you think of the Aerolites?
CHARLES. [_Turning to Sophia._] A sweet little dog, indeed: what
fine eyes!
HORATIA. Do you think them....
CHARLES. The little pink ribbon round its neck is so becoming.
HORATIA. [_Raising her voice._] Mr. Dapple, Mr. Dapple, do you
think the Aerolites....
CHARLES. [_Aside._] Help me, my mother-wits!
HORATIA. Do you agree in the generally received opinion....
CHARLES. [_Aside._] Some political party perhaps!
HORATIA. Or do you think them....
CHARLES. Why, ma’am, I think--I--I am decidedly of
opinion--that--that--the....
HORATIA. The Aerolites....
CHARLES. Are nothing more or less than Jacobites.
ALL THE LADIES. Jacobites!
HORATIA. Why, Sir, I always thought them a sort of stone....
CHARLES. Stone-fruit, true, true; I spoke without thinking.
Stone-fruit, a species of--of--apricots.
BARBARA. Hark, there is a knock at the door. Peep through the
shutters, Ratty, and see who it is.
CHARLES. [_Aside._] A little diversion for me. I am growing so
hot. Silence to cover sense would in this case....
HORATIA. ’Tis old Colonel Stumply.
CHARLES. [_Starting up._] Colonel Stumply! I’m dished.
THE LADIES. Why--what--who----
CHARLES. Perhaps you will permit me, ladies, to retire. I feel
indisposed--faint! [_Exit._]
MRS. JUD. I must go and welcome my old friend. [_Exit._]
HORATIA. Bab!
BARBARA. Ratty!
HORATIA. What a flash of electricity has burst on my intellect!
SOPHIA. His noble air; his wan features....
HORATIA. A fugitive....
SOPHIA. A wanderer....
HORATIA. His sudden alarm....
SOPHIA. [_Rushing into her arms._] O Ratty, Ratty, what a day!
what an honour! what a surprise!
BARBARA. How now, what’s the matter?
HORATIA. Brain of adamant! could not instinct direct you to the
feet of your adored Prince?
BARBARA. The Prince! Is it possible?
SOPHIA. Charlie! Charlie! O! what a moment!
HORATIA. Did you not hear him describe the ruin of his army....
SOPHIA. Did you not hear ‘Charles Stew--’ upon his noble
tongue....
HORATIA. How he started when he recollected himself....
SOPHIA. And O, how exquisitely pathetic, how touchingly
appropriate, the name he gave instead! Dapple; to signify how
his fortunes are chequered--Dapple....
BARBARA. How the Jacobites were running in his head when he
even....
SOPHIA. Little reason had he to fear us. If Daresby had been
here....
BARBARA. And this vile Colonel: no wonder he started off!
SOPHIA. What shall we do to get rid of him?
HORATIA. All that woman ever attempted I am ready to perform.
SOPHIA. I would die for him.
BARBARA. And I too.
SOPHIA. The handsome, brave, dear, darling young Prince! And to
think that Daresby’s a Whig!
_Enter MRS. JUDITH and COL. STUMPLY._
COL. Good evening, young Ladies, good evening. I have just
returned from the North, where we are everywhere triumphant, and
our laurels should ensure us a welcome from beauty. ‘None but
the brave, none but the brave deserve the fair,’ you know. Hey, Miss Sophy?